Of water and seagulls

Bill and I took my parents on a desi pilgrimage to Niagara Falls last weekend. My parents were suitably impressed by both the American and the horseshoe falls. Though appa was like "What a pity! You can't bathe here. Now if this was my beloved Kuttralam...."! For our part, Bill and I were reminded of our time in Kenai Fjords National Park last summer and couldn't stop telling parents about how these falls pale in comparison to the magnificent glaciers we hiked on in Alaska. Appa, Amma got sick of hearing about Alaska after sometime and we were told to shut up.

Most of the time we were at Niagara, I felt like being part of someone else's life - one of the umpteen desi couples who bring their parents to Niagara on a summer weekend. How uncool! Some of the Bong's pretentiousness must be rubbing off on me :(

Anyway, while I was on Luna Island looking at the American falls contemplating life, universe and everything, I saw Jonathan! There he was, a lone seagull at the edge of the waterfall, the last possible place where a bird can be without being carried away by the waters. Standing where no other seagull would ever think of standing, he was proudly looking up at all of us mundane losers standing on solid ground well behind the railings. I ran back to find Bill and show him Jonathan; Bill wasn't very impressed by him. Instead he asked me in his mocking voice - "Do you know why these seagulls are gullible? Just like the ones you have in your Lake Michigan?". I said I didn't want to know the answer. But he answered it all the same - "Because they think this is the sea."

Can someone kill Bill for me please? Wait, isn't that what I am supposed to do?