Scorched!

Black Mamba suggests an Arya Samaj wedding so that we know for sure what we are signing up for. Won't work for us as it has too much religion without the paraphernalia and what I want is the general tamasha without the religion. But there seem to be some interesting vows in the Arya Samaj style - here's the bride's wedding vow:

"I take your hand in mine in pursuit of righteousness for the benefit of both our families. I will stand by you. May we be provided with prosperity and offspring and may I keep you splendidly radiant as the rays of the sun."

Splendidly radiant as the rays of the sun? Imagine Bill spendidly radiant as the rays of the sun. Just remind me to put crates full of sunblock and sunglasses in the registry. :)