To W(B)ed a Bong

The Bedding Diaries of a clueless, soon-to-be Bride

Saturday, December 17, 2005

When a Kerala girl marries a Behala boy - The Kerala Diaries - Part 1

In which Bill arrives with his "Baraat"

The family has to go receive Bill at Trivandrum airport. Interestingly enough, the Bride cannot be let out of home, and cannot go to the airport. Bill's friends are sure they cannot meet each other for the next two days, and start discussing plans of sneaking up to the balcony in moonlight.

Soon after arriving, Bill is whisked off to a big Raymond's store to fit him for a suit. The theme music of Godfather plays in Bill's mind as he is told the suit will be ready in ten hours. Bill has to think about weighty issues such as two buttons or three? single pleat or flat front? Needless to say, he has no clue what the fashionable man is supposed to wear, and ultimately, closes his eyes and mutters a random one. The tailors are suitably impressed by his quick decision skills. Apparently, normal people take their time, look over the fashion magazines lying around and then decide, while Bill is totally clued in to what he wants.

After being tired out shopping, it is casually mentioned that Bill will be dropped off at the Bride's home. Before he can react, he is pushed out of the car and about 50 aunties descend on him to do aarti. He is then taken inside, and made to sit in the couch of honor. About 200 people take seats in front, and give him a good stare. Since there is no common language to communicate in, Bill wonders whether he is expected to sing or perform magic tricks.

In the night, the Bride has to be blessed by elders by putting rice on her head. Bill returns with his family, and the family is promptly conned into the rice throwing ceremony. They are completely lost with people shouting instructions at them in Tamil.

Bill's friends decide that the Bride has been harassed enough, and it is time to harass the groom. They go talk to elders and convince them Bongs have a custom of blessing the groom by making him eat sweets. Bill is promptly tied to a seat, big laddoos are brought out, and he is force-fed till he is on the point of throwing up.

After dinner, Bill and friends decide to go on a bachelor party to Kovalam beach. Ethan and Jason, the already-mentioned firangs, immediately switch to the groom's side and accompany the group. Actually, the party requires a post by itself, so wait for the next post.


Blogger Rash said...

Bit late in the day but congratulations. V brave man Bill is to wear the topor i must say!

5:45 AM  
Blogger s! said...

am not sure at which stage to say Congratulations, so here goes anyways.. CONGRATS!

glad to hear everything's working out pretty well, and waiting impatiently to hear the rest of the stories!

6:18 AM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

I am sure he had a great time..

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